This is not the post I was planning to write

Aaaaargh! I've lost creative control of my blog!

I had a wonderful post (not this one obviously) all ready to go. It was about how I told this girl I had just met that I wouldn't drink soy milk because it made men turn gay and women grow extra breasts. It was riveting stuff; a satirical expose into the dark world of homophobia and pseudo-science conspiracy websites.

However, my editor (the missus) decided that for all its genius, the brilliant satirical humour would go over the heads of some readers, and that some left-wing pinko would undoubtably find it horribly offensive.

I then proceeded to submit a series of drafts, each one less subtle in its humour than the last, until I was writing such blatant disclaimers as: "THIS IS A JOKE! I do not subscribe to the beliefs herefore mentioned." And writing explanatory notes at the end of paragraphs such as: "Dear Reader. In case you didn't realise, I am using this seemingly offensive material as a catalyst for addressing complex issues. In doing so, I hope to raise awareness about the damaging influences of psuedo-science and hate-websites in society."

I mean, c'mon! Hello! That's what satire is! Why do i need to explain it? Nobody writes a poem and says in the middle of it 'In case you didn't realise, this is a poem, and that's why it rhymes.' In the end, I watered it down so much it became monumentally UN-FUNNY, and I couldn't post it.

It might be for the best, though. I mean, my editor does have a good point. There are two things I have learnt about those left-wing pinkos:

They have:
1. Absolutely no sense of humour
2. A propensity for physical violence


I may have had a lucky escape.