The Age online

I've discovered my latest hobby:

It involves going on The Age website, finding articles that allow readers' comments, sussing out what the general mood of the comments are (ie. are most comments anti-Abbott, anti-elite private schools, pro-choice, anti-pokie machines?, whatever) and then posting exactly the opposite views - preferably in the most arrogant, bigoted and ill-informed sounding way possible -
and then I sit back and watch all those left-wing pinkos work themselves into a frenzy. Very entertaining.

(Hey Zac, I reckon you'd enjoy this hobby, too)

Batts are Burning

by Midnight Oil

.

VERSE ONE:
I wish I was still singing songs
About saving the environment
My foray into politics
Aint going like I thought it would


The time has come
To say fair's fair
To set things right
in an election year
The time has come
A fact's a fact
I’m lucky to still be
in the Cabinet

CHORUS:
How can we deal with this stimulus package?
How do we sleep while our batts are burning?
How can we dance while Abbott’s campaigning?
How do we sleep while our batts are burning?

VERSE TWO
The time has come
to shut my mouth
that’s what my minders
are telling me

The time has come
to stay at home
to keep away
from the news reporters

CHORUS:
How can we dance while the electorate's fuming?
How do we sleep while our batts are burning?
Rudd made me sit in the 'naughty corner'
How do I sleep while those batts are burning?
.

Blue Chip Tea vs. Hedge Fund Coffee

I have recently switched my allegiance from coffee to tea. This decision was based on a careful analysis of several key criteria, the results of which are as follows:

COFFEE:
Heavy on the stomach
Makes me do really weird poos
Feel like a zombie when I wake up
Feel like a zombie all afternoon
Feel like a zombie pretty much all the time until I have another coffee


TEA:
None of the above


There is also another thing I have discovered since converting to tea. Tea is very predictable and safe. I have never once had a bad cup of tea. Compare this to coffees, of which I have had more than my fair share of burnt, bitter, or otherwise undrinkable brews. Coffee is certainly a gamble - there are good ones and bad ones. However, when the gamble pays off it is well worth it. For I have found that whilst a good cup of tea is quite good, a good cup of coffee is simply FUCKING INCREDIBLE!! Nothing can compare.

Which leads me to think of my coffee/tea dilemma in investment terms. A cup of tea is definitely Blue Chip. It is reliable and predictable, but generally unexciting. On the other hand, a coffee is speculative. It involves a high risk/high return factor.

I suppose at the moment I am just being a little conservative with my hot drink investments.

You know you're a parent when...

You get used to drinking cold cups of tea

You refer to yourself in the third-person (eg. Daddy is going to read you a story)

7.30 is considered a "sleep-in"

Everything is half-completed: You eat half a meal; wash half the dishes; and only watch half a movie

You forget to sign out of internet banking

You look like a nutcase humming along to Heads, Shoulders, Knees and Toes while standing in line at the supermarket

That sad and bittersweet feeling of coming to the last disc in a DVD box-set of your favourite TV show

I have a hobby. It's called "Discovering great TV shows ten years after everyone else has stopped watching them".

My latest such discovery is The Sopranos. And man, I am hooked! What a great show. Now I realise what all the fuss was about. It's just a pity that I can't share my new-found love with anyone - Mainly because everybody else already watched the show TEN YEARS AGO, became obsessed with it, discussed it enthusiastically, and then eventually got sick of talking about it. It would be like saying, "Hey guys, wanna go to all-you-can-eat Smorgies. It's rad, man! You can, like, eat as much as you want". "Er, sorry but we've, um, we've kind of grown out of that now"


However, the only down-side is the sad feeling I get when I reach the last DVD in the box-set. Up to that point I am flying through the episodes, staying up late each night, relentlessly devouring them disc by disc. But there inevitably comes a point where I open the DVD case to swap DVD number 5 with DVD number 6, only to come to the shock realisation that there is NO DVD SEVEN!!!! It is at that point that I slow down a little, watch only one episode per night, and try ever so desperately to savour what is left of the series. That is where I am now - the final disc in season one.


(EDIT: I just found out there are five more seasons after this. Whew!)

Underrated Household Items

Funnel

Lint Remover

Chair with a gas lift

Doorbell

and... Overrated:


Coasters