Wow! It's been a whole year since my last post. It's hard, because the longer you wait between posts, the more pressure there is to make it a good one. Hopefully I won't make the same mistake of posting a good one, then immediately posting a crap one, and leaving the crap one there sitting on top for a whole freakin year. Well, we'll see...
How to enjoy all the guilty pleasures of lowbrow bogan culture whilst still appearing cool to your inner-city friends
1. Watch gratuitously sexualised music videos on Video Hits… ironically (Remember: sexist pseudo-porn can also be viewed as anti-sexist ironic social commentary. This same logic can be applied to telling racist jokes)
2. Read the Herald Sun… ironically (Spread two whole pages out, one above the other, and hold them like that in an awkward manner, to make it seem as if you have never held a tabloid-sized paper before and are a bit confused about it all)
3. Eat lunch at McDonalds… ironically (Tell your Fitzroy mates that you do it as ‘performance art’. That way they might want to come along too. Bonus tip: take your burger wrappers home and pin them up on the wall of your share-house kitchen as a creative form of protest against multinational corporations)
4. Cruise around in an enormous four-wheel-drive… as an ironic form of environmental protest (Tip: if you happen to have an M.U.A. sticker on your car, tell your friends it stands for ‘Musicians Union of Albert Street’)
5. Shop at Coles and Woolworths (It’s research for your documentary, remember?)
And here's some final advice: always remember to use environmentalist jargon to spin things in your favour whenever you can. For example, battery-farmed eggs becomes "sustainable high-density eco-farmed eggs".
They won't know the difference.
