Where would our local papers be without Les Twentyman?, I ask. And what on earth would they find to write about? Not only does he provide local journalists with an inexhaustible source of ready-made column inches, he is without a doubt the veritable darling of our community press.
Twentyman is to The Leader what Kate Middleton is to New Idea. He is to Footscray, Yarraville, Braybrook Star what Angelina Jolie is to Who Weekly.
Like vultures surrounding a selfless and altruistic carcass, the western suburbs media unrelentingly stalks this man week in-week out, relaying every salacious detail to its gossip-hungry readership.
For just like New Idea and Who, the local papers' fascination with Les merely feeds and perpetuates the cult of celebrity that so permeates the contemporary culture of inner-west house-bound octogenarians who still read the local paper.
But as long as the public continues to by obsessed with young, sexy celebrities, and remains preoccupied with following their every move, I can't see the western suburbs media leaving Les Twentyman in peace in any time soon.