Six-word memoirs (Submission #3)

Well they accepted submission #2, no problem. This is my third submission:




Constantly trying to find ways to-subvert-the-rules-of-websites-that-ask-people-to-submit-memoirs-that-are-six-words-long

6-word memoir (submission #2)

Seeing that Smith Magazine
accepted my previous entry, I thought I'd try another one. This time:


Was happy until I heard Bababadalgharaghtakamminarronnkonnbronntonnerronntounnt-hunntrovarrhounawnskawntoohoordenthurnuk




They can't accuse me of making this word up, because it appears on the first page of James Joyce's Finnegans Wake, and is the symbolic thunderclap representing the fall of Adam and Eve.

Things I don't understand

Things I don't understand:

Why environmental activists have dreadlocks

Why Dame Edna is funny

Why they make the Back Space key so small, instead of a great big massive key that your little finger can never miss

Who buys licorice allsorts

What they are doing to the freeway exits in the city

Cricket

6-word Memoir

I finally finished writing my memoir, and have submitted it to Smith Magazine's '6-word memoirs'. It was a challenge, but here it is:



vacillating between ultracrepidarianism, hippopotomonstrosesquipedalianism and I-don't-care-what-anybody-says-because-hyphenated-words-count-as-one-wordism

Hottest 100 2009 - Worst year ever?

Were there any good songs released last year apart from Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros Home? (and perhaps also that song about eating breakfast every afternoon in some dodgy cafe in order to perve on a waitress)?


I have followed the Hottest 100 closely since high school and must say that 2009 was without a doubt the worst year ever! By far. I'm not sure why, but I can only put it down to two possible reasons:

1. There were no decent songs released anywhere in the entire world between Jan 1 and Dec 31 (not likely); or

2. Triple J have lost the plot (more likely)


Alright, so I'm exaggerating a little. Silversun Pickups are excellent. And there were a few OK songs in there like Phoenix Lisztomania, but let's be honest, if that track had been released any other year it would have probably come in at, say, #63, not #4.

All in all, it just seemed like a really flat year for music (if Triple J is anything to go by). For instance, great artists like Sarah Blasko and Bluejuice, who usually can't go wrong, released the worst songs of their careers (yes, Powderfinger, I'm talking about you too!).


And what's with all the fuss over Mumford and Sons? They are the most overrated piece of crap band since Seven Mary Three (huh, what's that? never heard of them?). I didn't actually twig exactly who they were until I heard Little lion man at #1 and instantly recognised it as "that awful song" Triple J play every time I'm in the car and have to quickly change stations. Boo!

Comrade Kingsmille's People's Radio, I have loved you but you've let me down.

I just hope Kingsmille doesn't find this blog and arrest me for thought-crime.



(have I alienated everyone?)

Six Months...

...is how long it's been since my last post. Anyone still out there?

I apologise. This is why it has taken so long:

Initially, I was just so pleased with my Jeff Buckley-bashing post that I decided to keep it up there a while. Then I came up with a few ideas but they were so lame compared to the Jeff Buckley-bashing post that I didn't want to post them. Then, a few weeks later, I thought 'Why not just post them anyway' but by that time the ideas were stale (do people really want to hear more Michael Jackson jokes now?). So here I am posting this - which, ironically, is far more lame than those ideas I didn't post.


(man, I used the word post a lot, but there really isn't any equivalent synonym)