Book Review: From Rock to Rock

I found the most wonderfully educational book this week. It’s called ‘From Rock to Rock: The Music of Darkness Exposed.’ It was written in 1990 by a Christian named Eric Barger, and it provides a detailed analysis of popular rock music, explaining how the Devil uses rock n roll to influence the kiddies.

It explains back-masking, subliminal messages, cross-dressing, and even AC-DCs ‘satanic lightning bolt,’ but the central feature of the book is what it calls the ‘Rock Music Rating System’ in which it outlines 10 criteria for judging whether a band is Satanic. It then lists hundreds of bands from A-Z, and next to their name identifies which of the criteria each artist fulfils.

And if you thought you knew which bands to be wary of, think again! According to the list, The Police (with 9 criteria) are more evil than Ozzy Osbourne (8), Duran Duran (7) are more evil than Megadeth (6), and even Bananarama (6) are more evil than Metallica (5)!!

Other artists on the list include: The Bee Gees (4), Fleetwood Mac (5), Neil Diamond (2), and Rod Stewart (3). In fact, speaking of Rod Stewart, it says ‘If you’re singing along with Rod, how can you be walking with God?’ [man, I wanna put that on a T-shirt]. And if Rod Stewart aint bad enough, the author considers Lionel Ritchie (3) especially evil, and gives this dire warning: ‘Christians should abstain from supporting his artistry with no questions asked.’

And apparently even pretend bands can be evil; Spinal Tap gets 3 gongs.

But there is only one band in the list that fulfills all 10 criteria, and yes, you guessed it, it’s The Rolling Stones. The most EVIL band in the world!

[I have a feeling I will be quoting from this book a lot]

Quote of the Day

Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean, I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.

~ Mariah Carey

Quote of the Day

'Just because one believes in White Separatism does not make them a racist.'

~ Joe Turner, founder of Save Our State

My Revolutionary Motivational Method

Whenever a successful person is interviewed, they invariably say the same thing: That early on in their life some teacher or coach told them they were hopelessly untalented and would never achieve anything. Successful people always cite this negative comment as the catalyst for their hungry pursuit of success, and their deep desire to 'prove them wrong.'

On the other hand, my own childhood was filled with plenty of praise and encouragement from my teachers; they often told me how clever and talented I was. It is only now that I realise this is precisely why I have never achieved anything.

Hence my Revolutionary Motivational Method: Strategic Discouragement. By heaping negative comments onto a young protege you will prevent them from becoming a complacent, lily-livered hack, and instead spur them on to accomplish much.

I hope those of you who are planning to be teachers (Basil) might implement this strategy, and watch your pupils go on to achieve great things in life.

Just think, one day some famous actor, when asked what the key to their success is, might say 'well, you know, it's all because of something my drama teacher once told me...'

My hippie brother

I was hanging out with my youngest brother 'Joey Jo-Jo Junior Shabadoo' today. For those who don't know him, Joey Jo-Jo is an unshaven lad with dreadlocks and alternative op-shop-style clothing. We were in Fitzroy, and his bohemian image made the two of us a target for every left-wing activist and protester that happened to venture within 50 metres of us. I was not accustomed to all the attention; however Joey Jo-Jo is quite used to it. At one point we were driving past a 7-Eleven where a group of employees were protesting against 7-Eleven's low wages. Of all the dozens of cars on the road, this girl singled-out ours (because she caught sight of my brother's dreadlocks), and ran over to hand him a flyer. He happily took the flyer and said 'wow, 10 dollars an hour! That's pretty good. I might apply for a job here.'

He told me about a previous incedent: One time he was wearing a fur coat, and these hippies said to him 'I know that's not real, because you don't look like the kind of person who would wear real fur.' He replied, 'I wish it was, but I can't afford it.'

Ivory Tower Alert

Whoever said that Academics were out of touch with the real world? How could they possibly be when they are studying such relevant subjects as this:


Indian audience interpretations of health-related content in The Bold and the Beautiful 1


I did not make this up. I promise. White Aqua (my wife) found this on the postgraduate section of the La Trobe Uni website.