One of my pet hates is when you ask someone for their address, but instead of actually telling you, they launch into a tedious blow-by-blow set of directions that take you from your front gate to theirs. This is a typical example of what I have encountered many times:
Me: So, what's your address?
Them: Okay, now where are you?
Me: Sorry?
Them: Where do you live?
Me: Um, I'm in Spotswood. I don't see how this is...
Them: Okay, well you know where Melbourne Road is?
Me: Look, I just need your...
Them: Drive all the way up Melbourne Road
Me: I don't...
Them: You'll get to a set of traffic lights, okay
Me: Excuse me...
Them: Now, turn right. But only if the lights are green, otherwise
Me: Look, please...
Them: On that road you'll see a tree shaped like a giant frog
Me: Please...
Them: Actually, there are two trees shaped like frogs. It's the second one you want
Me: Look...
Them: I'm not sure what the traffic will be like on that road, maybe instead you could try
Me: I'm getting dizzy
Them: Come to think of it, don't turn right there, go straight
Me: I need to sit d...
Them: Stay in the left lane. You'll come to a bridge and...hey, are you okay?
Me: (Whispering) Please...Melways...I..have...a...Melw...
2 comments:
I'm with you a 100% on this one. Except that I just pretend to listen (becasue as your post illustrates there's no pint trying to stop people, they just insist on giving you their directions!), and then at the end ask for their address and look it up in the Melway.
Sung to the tune of ZZ-Top's Legs:
I've got maps
And I know how to use them
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