UK Music Magazines – Fashion magazines
Hillsong – The art of selling awful music to an indiscriminate audience
Hidden Track – Something that was only cool the first time it was done
Music Classifieds Ads – An eco-system dangerously overpopulated with guitarists, and where bass-players are an endangered species
Bass-Player – A guitarist who couldn’t find a band
Radio – A medium that people have decided is dead and finished, yet still listen to
The Sixties – A time when 99% of people were very conservative and 1% were wild, but everybody likes to pretend they were part of the 1%
Aussie Rock Legend – Any Australian musician over the age of 50
Showing posts with label Glossary of Musical Terms. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Glossary of Musical Terms. Show all posts
Monday, March 2, 2009
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Enthusiastic Hack’s GLOSSARY OF MUSICAL TERMS (Part 3)
Bands & Artists Edition:
The Strokes – A band that sounds less like The Strokes than most other bands these days
Nickelback – A deep, deep mystery. A band that everybody hates, yet sells millions. Who will ever solve this riddle?
Jim Morrison – A song-writer whose apparently profound lyrics read more like bad teenage poetry
The Wiggles – Australia’s biggest musical export after ACDC
New ACDC Song – The same riff they’ve used for the last 30 years with a slight variation
Un-Australian – Saying you don’t like ACDC
Audioslave – Another mystery. A band made up of the most talented members of Rage Against The Machine and Soundgarden, yet doesn’t sound nearly as good as either
Creed – A blessing to every other band in the world, because no matter how bad they are they can still say ‘at least we’re not Creed’
Jeff Buckley – The Mohammad of Triple J. Whenever a DJ mentions his name they must immediately add ‘peace be upon him, that beautiful man.’
Blasphemy – Saying you don’t like Jeff Buckley
Seeing The Light – Finally realising that Jeff Buckley is the most over-rated musician in history
Being Persecuted For Your Beliefs – Telling a group of 30-something women that you hate Jeff Buckley
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Enthusiastic Hack's Glossary of Musical Terms (Part 2)
Battle of the Bands – A parallel universe where every band is a heavy metal band
Working on a New Album – Fulfilling our contractual obligations
Made it onto the Cover of Beat Magazine – Paid $10,000 to be on the cover of Beat Magazine
Hottest 100 – The 100 most played songs on Triple J last year
A Truly Beautiful Human Being - Dead
Legend – Dead
Genius - Dead
Influential – Dead; or not very popular
Acoustic Versions – An excuse to release another album
Remixes – Ditto
Jazz – A peculiar style of music where musicians only play to other musicians
Rolling Stone – A music magazine which features movie stars on the cover and occasionally a musician
Rock Wiz – A less funny version of Spicks and Specks
Christian Rock – A form of torture decreed ‘inhumane’ by international law
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Enthusiastic Hack's Glossary of Musical Terms (Part 1)
Cult Following – Not very popular
Musical Differences – Clashing contractual obligations
Second Album – Where most careers end
Support Band – A really average band chosen to make the headline act sound good
Indie – A generic term used to describe any band you can’t easily pigeon-hole
Overnight Success – Five years of hard work plus three weeks of hype
Sell Out – Become too popular to be considered cool anymore
Exploring a New Direction – Our new songs are shit compared to our old stuff
We Love Coming to this City – We are in this city
I Really Respect That Artist – I think that singer is a cockhead but he is on the same Record Label as me
Australian Idol – Televised Karaoke
ARIA Awards – A very long Powderfinger interview